I'm trying.

Not to get in your way,

Not to make you mad,

Not to hurt you again,

Not to see you cry.

But everytime I try to make things right,

I feel a sudden trap.

Unable to speak my thoughts or feelings.

I feel trapped because I could not express myself.

I'm hurt too, baby.

I'm sorry, that I made that one mistake that made you change your perception of me.

And I know very well, nothings ever gonna be the same again.

You're going to continue having the fear of me leaving, for another.

What I've caused with my sinful act was unforgivable.

I know you're backing away from me slowly, and I feel it.

I'm sorry.

No, that wouldn't hurt. Don't let it bring you down the way he wants it to be. Don't be so quick to judge, the things you're never sure of.

Despite all the many years being together, love or sex or the seductive looks you have,

What causes your relationship to wreck is the distraction of the other party.

When that comes along without your knowledge, you're doomed.

When you have no determination, thats when everything goes wrong.

Do you feel bad being infidelity to the one who you once claimed you 'love'?

They're only desperate for new events from others.

I could tell that he's started lying to me,
because of a past I hid from him.
He couldn't even look me in the eyes.


It's something I have to live with, and hope that someday my actions will prove true.

Pretentious you were, I was never aware.
Ignorance took place in the midst of a conversation.
Every move you make, there's a consequence you have to bare.
I was overlooked by the unexpected 'sinful' act.


Nothing's really good enough for you.
But I know you desire a different kind of girl.
A girl who gives in to you and loves you for all the good and bad.
I'm not that, and I see the drift.
Slowly apart.


So tell me, is this what you want, for me to leave everything behind?
Unable to express the sorrow and anger,
I promise to never cry in front of you, ever.
Because crying would only show my weakest point.
The place where you always tend to trigger when everything's bad.


I'm done for the day, enough of all the hoohaas.
My heart can't take, you rest well.
Goodnight, xx.

Been lost in contact with my bestfriend in NS. I miss Kimmy and also Chelle in the UK. Sigh!
Kimmy, Chelle come home quick :( You both missed my birthday.

Space, 18th July.





-----

I'm currently lost with words.
Unable to express the pain I feel within.
What's worse, I'm not understood.
Neither was I taken in consideration.
I'm being neglected and accused.
Everythings falling apart.
Can't you see that we're drifting apart baby?

----
Barclub, 1st August.












I'm not gonna say my this year's one of my best years neither would I say it's any worse, but I expected it to be better.

- Thank you for coming my lovelies. Thank you for everything! xx