There are times where I feel like spilling every dirty lil secret out.

But then again, I'd lose along the way.

I feel like a pathetic girl, who's always whining about how bad life is when others are suffering and going through way worse than I am.

But that's just me, I like to whine and rant, because it makes me feel more relieved and satisfied, like after sex. Haha.

I don't know, really. What am I doing to myself?

I feel trapped again.

I feel like I'm suffocating.

I feel like I'm being controlled.

I feel like I can't be myself anymore.

I feel like I'm trying to be someone I don't even know.

I feel so lost.

I feel so vulnerable.

I feel so gullible. (Raz & Riz mentioned before)

I feel everything I'm not anymore.

I hate having to drench my pillow nights after nights.

I hate having to cry softly because my sister's sleeping next to me, when all I want to do is cry out loud.

The twinge of heart, so hard to bare.

These feelings, ineffable sadness.

Puffy gold fish's eyes.

Continuous down pouring tears till 4 in the morning.

Bawling for help.

I've gone astray for all the right things.

The uncountable blunder of words uttered without heavy thoughts.

My wayward behavior, so hard to adjust.

I've lost my contentment.

Could someone please whisper and tell me that everything would be all right soon?

Williams, 22nd Nov.
Kimmy and I took everyone's phone and started taking pictures of ourselves.
Putting our pics as their wallpaper.


Kok Lim's
Sidarth's
Paul's

Vincent's

Ren Hao's
Daniel's

Chee Ho's

Jen Wae's

Ss2, Yum cha, 25th Nov.

Boy oh boy,
Did you think I was so naive to believe what you just told me?
Okay, I may have been one of the greatest hit you've encountered (You self-claimed).
But that still does not change the fact that you're a liar.

When're you ever gonna change?

It may work on high school girls, but not me.

Don't you think this is karma?

Mmmmm..

---
Dec, Hong Kong.

---

I'm starting to get the hang of it.

And I quit trying.

Because you're never gonna give in.

And here is where I'd stop.

Whether you wanna mend it, its up to you.

I've done the best I could, and I'm done with this shiits.

I'm losing, and I'm guessing that's good news.

Our minds are currently set on to desperation mode because of the chaos we got ourselves into.

Thanks honey, for making me feel safe again.

Altho we barely speak now, feels good to know that you still care.

I know the damage I've caused.

But you see, things got out of hands.

I couldn't see the wrongs of my doings.

But you reminded me last night, that I'd never be alone.

I feel less filthy now.

---

Through past experiences and recent events,

Alcohol can bring a shy reserved person, to be so daring to act on feelings.

At times, I love what alcohol does to me; helps bring away the pain.

But other times, I despise because I regret my actions.

the lustful feeling you have, got everyone confused.

Ss2, yum cha.

I lost my inspiration of writing.

Be back soon when I'm able to find it.

Goodbye, xx.

"You'll still be same ol' leemin I first met.

Although I'd be hearing names of you, I still love you because you're still you.

The leemin I've always knew." 

-- Chelle Leong.

I love you, too.

Futsal with boys last night made my whole body ached today.

Ultimate kick shot on the ass by my beloved friend, Ho Jen Wae.

Then two shots on my right lap which left a freaking football print by Professor G.

And they say "Love is pain and pain is love."

Lol, now I get the point.

Anyway, I miss you girls.

"I was afraid of getting my heart broken again, like before. Cause you hurt me so bad and I was afraid to be vulnerable and I was afraid of you and the way you make me feel. And I know that doesn't matter now after what I did but I just thought you should know. This is how I spent my summer wanting you but I was just afraid  to admit it."

-- Brooke Davis, One Tree Hill.

I dug out the lie of what you claimed was true.

But now I know yours and you're no where far from me.

Stop making it as if I've ruined your life or wasted the months of yours.

You lied too.

"tiny winny little crushy mushy"

The habit has kicked in.

More after finals.

Let's go boys!

Soon we're all going on separate ways again.

Why does it has to happen so soon when the bonds are tight,

When miss is all we can utter.

How can you forget the times we've missed?

I want something more than just may be.

I don't want it to just be an infatuation.

I'm looking for something more than just that.

But I'm afraid.

Afraid because you have the heart of a rock.

I'm afraid that this may only be an infatuation, lust that will not last.

Something that will not change.

Can you assure that this would be more than just that?

Because I'm afraid of the obvious.

Siok Yean and I, Midvalley.

It's def hard to watch a friend break up with whom he loves.

There's so much going on, but so little time to buck up.

We're all selfish and we mourn because we're still in denial of the present.

All we need is a reality check.

Finals on Monday and we're already planning where to go for holidays.

I can't break through from the things I've had it all planned out.

Time is ticking, and I'm so lost in words.

I'm mindfuccked by the things I hear.

You're making it even harder for me now.

At least my friends do not mindfucck you down to your penis.

Because every little detail about you, still affects me.

"Sometimes we fall unconsciously for the wrong things."