I wonder if I was meant for you.

.......Continuing from the previous post...

The particular hour where the emotions rambles in. At this point in time, Razif, the words you've screeched last night hurt me badly deep inside out. I thought I was losing you, everyone's telling me I'm losing each, one by one, step by step. I can't blame you for bailing out on me, for my foolish unforgivable act. I lost it the moment I couldn't feel sense of self-righteousness, I wailed painful words that hurt you back too. I'm sorry. My dear best friends (Yes, I have more than one. Although they said we're only supposed to have one), I love you all unconditionally, more than myself, more than my family, more than anything else. Because you, my dear friends, are the ones who help shape my life to better and wiser (Other than my parents). Last night, I caused a scene, an awful unforgivable act. Leaving the whole fifteen to twenty people, embarrassed. I could not get hold of myself anymore. My dear best friends, I thank you for putting up with my apathetic, self-centered and obnoxious behavior. You, my best friends, Chee Ho, Sean, Raz, Joe Win, Kimmy, Chelle, Natt and Kris, I love you all equally and unconditionally, for ever trying to be there physically and mentally. I apologize for being harsh, by hurting you physically or verbally. Please please don't bail out on me. And to others, I love you too, sorry and thank you for all.

I'm a self-centered whore. 

Ugh, I feel better now. Confession done.